My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
