Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
