Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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