I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
