God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
