would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Randomize
