i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
