Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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