Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
