Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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