she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
