I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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