Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
