This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
