Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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