What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
