In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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