Your tits are I can't wait for
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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