They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
