dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have already put on my inside pants.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
