He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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