It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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