Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
