big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
