you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
