i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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