Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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