2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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