Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
