For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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