I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
