Don't you send me to vm
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
