My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
