Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
