well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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