her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
