Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
