I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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