i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Randomize
