grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
