I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
