Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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