when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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