Dual....:-)
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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