we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
