Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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