Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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