Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
