Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
