i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
YAS. BRING CRAB.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
