Just cropdusted the office
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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