Life is so much better after having sex.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
