i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
